He began to say something about how we want our daughters to believe that they are beautiful, in a truer sense of the word. He was leading up to how we might inspire that in them. My mind began to jump ahead as to what his suggestion might be. What would you think?
He suprised me by saying, to tell them everyday that they are beautiful as they grow. From teeny tiny, to tell them that they are beautiful.
It wasn't what I was expecting. That sounded a little off. I kept thinking about it. I tell my daughters they look beautiful often. It usually involves a fancy dress or princess dress up clothes. That's really not how I want it to match up though.
I began thinking about what it would look like to tell them all of the time that they were beautiful, regardless of how I was percieving them to look on the outside at that given moment. Could this change them?
I read a story about a girl whose mother never told them they were beautiful but instead told them that it was what was on the inside that counts. The girls thought they were told that because they were ugly. They found out later that their mom said that because she thought they were beautiful and didn't want them to have a big head.
I see the logic, but then again, I have met some absolutely gorgeous women who do not believe they are beautiful. Often, the messages they recieve to the contrary only further their confusion about what they have to offer and what matters most.
I want my girls to believe that they are beautiful, because I know that it DOES matter, even if I told them it didn't. But their actual appearance is far less important than their perception of themselves. That is what impacts how they behave.
I've met women who are unassuming but their belief that someone instilled in them, that they are beautiful, has created a confidence and a beauty that is admirable.
What do you think?
1 comment:
I have often pondered this dilemma of how much to mentioned beauty to my girls.
I am beginning to think that beauty and appearance have an inherent association or at least it is inherent in us to associate them. Before having girls I would have assumed that this was a learned association by result of culture alone. But I am starting to really doubt that. Sight is really our dominant sensory stimulus and thus appearance MATTERS to us. We are driven to beauty, we crave it, we love it and so naturally, we want to SEE it.
I just don't think there is anyway of getting around this.
Yes, beauty by its truest definition (not the one this world screams at us) is from within but it is not contained there. True beauty changes the way we appear! We have all had the experience of getting to know someone and loving who they are and all the sudden the sight of them is so much more lovely than ever before.
I want my girls to understand this connection. I dont think I can do anything to get them stop caring about what they look like. Its not in their genes and I certainly don't model that for them. But, I can teach them of the transforming power of true beauty over our appearances. Beauty and appearance are connected but NOT equal. Beauty has the upper hand! (nobody wants to look at a 'pretty' girl with an ugly heart) So we will focus on Beauty, on our creator, the embodiment of true beauty and all things beautiful and we will strive to best represent this aspect of our likeness to Him.
I don't want to steer away from the subject of beauty or from telling my girls they are beautiful - I just need to make sure we are seeking the real thing and not the impostor.
I too am guilty of showering on the praise when they happen to be all dressed up and should remember to tell them of their beauty even when they are messy and disheveled (which is most of the time anyway).
Thanks for the thoughts. IT was good to ponder even more. :) love you.
Post a Comment