JUMS

Noelle: Mommy, do I really have jums in my body?

Me: What? Drums?

Noelle: No, do I have jums?

Me: I don't know what jums are. Do you mean joints?

Noelle: No. You know like, sick jums and cold jums.

Me: Where did you hear that?

Noelle: On Charlie and Lola.

Me: (laughing) They're saying germs!

Those dang British accents. ;)

Purposeful

Tonight, someone had posted a video about the miracle of life. I watched it and my heart was awakened once again to the wonder of my two daughters, their precious little bodies and hearts.

I snuck over to their rooms and took a minute to pray for each one. As I prayed first for Natalie, I pictured God standing close behind me, gazing at her with me, saying, "She's really wonderful, isn't she?" "We just love her." I saw her through fresh eyes as an amazing person who God made and roots for and created her with a plan in His mind just for her. It was a sweet moment. This world gets so out of hand sometimes and I am so thankful for a moment of perspective.

His eyes are on you too.

Friday Night Lights!

Ryan's brother Ben called him up a couple of months ago to ask if he wanted to be part of a full-pads, friday night lights, alumni football game. He would have to drive out to Yucaipa for practices and they really had no idea what kind of a turn out or game day experience this would end up being.

When game day arrived we were all impressed by how legit it turned out being. The alumni organization covered all the bases and the guys had a blast! They competed against alumni from a rival school and won.

The highlight of the game was a connection between Ryan and his brother. Although they played quarterback and wide receiver, the 2 year difference kept them from ever really getting to play together like this. It was a long pass and Ryan had to really dive for it, almost making into the end zone. So fun!

We brought the girls with us and I was so excited to share with them the experience of being at one of Ryan's games. That lasted about 10 minutes. Then they wanted to leave but fortunately our niece was able to watch them back at Ben's house. Thanks Mary.

Till next year...

8 YEARS!

Ryan and I spent the weekend in LA this year for our anniversary. That now makes it: Yosemite (Fish Camp), Monterey, Santa Barbara, Laguna Beach, Big Bear, Del Mar, Napa and now Los Angeles. Any suggestions for next year?


We ended the trip with our first visit to the Getty Museum. Such a fabulous view.



Our hotel was in Santa Monica so we had a fabulous breakfast and cruised around. Unfortunately, we didn't check the weather and pack our bathing suits and sun dresses (well, not for Ryan) because it was 90 degrees.
We didn't bring the camera around the first day but we visited downtown and then dinner and an improv. Good times :).
The best part of the trip was the time we spent reflecting on the past year. You forget about so much until you really sit down and think about it. It actually took quite awhile to cover most of it and if I wouldn't have kept interrupting and jumping in it might've been a little shorter. Sorry, Ry. We're thankful for the new things we've learned on our parenting journey, even if there are still a million things we still would love to understand. We are also thankful for the new people in our lives this year, the new family members and the new sense of community we're finding in our neighborhood. We continue to be thankful for what God does in us and through us.

Video Updates!

Natalie showing off her newly learned dancing skills.


Singing a favorite tune.


Ryan decided to teach Noelle some football. He kept cracking up so I go in to see what's going on and he was just so surprised by her intensity. It's hard to tell because he's so big but she was really going for it and growling.

GAGA Hustle @ 24 Hour Fitness

Christmas Ideas...that provide a double blessing.

I have come across a handful of organizations that offer products that make remarkable gifts. These gifts are remarkable, not only because they are really incredible products but also because they come from organizations that are doing their part in bringing about hope and justice in our world. Check it out!!!



31 Bits
Jewelry made with recycled paper by Ugandan Women. Here is their mission statement:
31 Bits Designs is a socially minded business designed to give internally displaced women in Northern Uganda an opportunity to counter poverty. By giving our beneficiaries access to the international market, they are able to earn an instant income, providing homes, food, and education for their families. Our program equips women by providing literacy education, financial and vocational training, holistic care, and strong support systems, empowering individuals to further their careers and attain social equity.

Check out their website for more information about their story and the young women from Vanguard who started the organization. Most importantly share their story by wearing their jewelry.

International Princess Project

"International Princess Project advocates for women enslaved in prostitution, helping them restore their lives and empowering them to live free." The women involved with IPP in India, create these beautiful pajama pants that are sold in the US, with profits directly supporting the women. This organization has a beautiful and powerful story of restoration and empowerment on so many levels.



Laga Bags

I received this bag for Christmas last year and I get so many compliments on it! These bags are beautifully made by Tsunami survivors in Indonesia on Singer sewing machines. You can find more about their story and bags on their website (click Laga Bags)

Noelle figuring out the world

Today she is sitting in at the computer and yelling, "SHUT UP." I'm wondering where she learned the phrase and then hear that she's actually saying, "It's shut up!" And I realize that she means the computer has restarted and that the opposite of "shutting down" is "shutting up" therefore the computer was now "shut up" and ready to go :).

A little later she explains that the TV screen was "black just like the cupils of Natalie's eyes."

Recently I've posted on facebook 2 other endearing comments and wanted to jot them down here to hold onto.

I was talking about a woman named Carmen and Noelle said, "Carmen? That sounds like a boys name." I told her it was a nice girls name and she replied, "Why does it have "cars" and "men" in it?"

Noelle just said she was going to wear her "thank you" jammies to bed as she pulled out ones with camo print. I connected the dots but asked her why and she said, "because if you see someone with this kind of armor you always say thank you." :)

An opportunity to GIVE

MY LASIK STORY

As the majority of you all know, I won FREE laser eye surgery from Harvard Eye Associates. When I first heard about the facebook contest (thanks to my friend Dr. Jennifer Jensen) and started writing my essay, I started dreaming about winning and the opportunity to give away the money that we had started saving for me to get the surgery.

It was a crazy contest because there seemed to be some decent odds that I could in fact win but at the same time I had no idea how many people had voted for me and how many more it would take! It wasn't until a few of my family and friends decided to post the contest on their walls that I moved into third and eventually 2nd place. My cousin even started messaging all of her friends. And then in the last two hours of the contest I moved into 1st place. Turns out I won by only 9 votes!

I didn't know exactly what the prize would entail and wondered if there would be some kind of catch. There wasn't any catch and the team at Harvard Eye treated me like a celebrity and were wonderful. The entire process was included in the prize and they only asked to document the process for their facebook page.

So, here I am, 1 month later and feeling incredible with my new eyesight! It is the most remarkable gift to be given!! I am incredibly thankful and also pleased to donate money to a few organizations doing tremendous work in our world.

GIVING
It took me a little while to decide upon the organizations because there are so many great options. I landed on three that are dear to my heart and gave to them in various amounts, totaling over $1,000. I wanted a chance for all of you who voted for me and joined me in this journey to see where the donations went and what you helped contribute to!

1. Compassion International
A large portion of the money went to a program and an organization dear to my heart as a mom. When you have a new baby and are holding them in your arms, the thought of not having a place to live or food to feed them is completely overwhelming and yet that is the reality for so many across the world.
Compassion's 'Child Survival Program' meets the needs of mothers and their newborn babies in centers around the world among the poorest of the poor. They help provide basic education, nutrition, prenatal care, and income generating opportunities.

2. International Princess Project
"International Princess Project advocates for women enslaved in prostitution, helping them restore their lives and empowering them to live free." The women involved with IPP in India, create these beautiful pajama pants that are sold in the US, with profits directly supporting the women. This organization has a beautiful and powerful story of restoration and empowerment on so many levels. You can read their story and buy their "punjammies" @ www.intlprincess.org. They make a great Christmas gift!!!

3. The Soldiers Project
As a counselor, my heart is tugged for the men and women coming home from service overseas with mental and emotional wounds that need to be treated, inspected, observed, addressed, and healed. I can only begin to imagine what our soldiers are experiencing as a result of their service.
As my brother narrowly missed deployment to Afghanistan because of an injury, I pondered the impact of combat overseas on numerous occasions. And now that I had an opportunity to sit down and think of issues that I am passionate about and desiring to respond to, this one struck a chord. I was pleased to find this organization comprised of trained professionals who are donating their time to provide free psychological care to our troops. I hope this can help.
I made this donation in honor of my brother and cousin who have both served in the armed forces.

Thank you again to all of you who voted for my essay and to the team at Harvard Eye! I pray that God multiplies this money and uses it to bless people and to show them love, care and HOPE.

I do not believe we can truly enter into our own inner pain and wounds and open our hearts to others unless we have had an experience of God, unless we have been touched by God. We must be touched by the Father in order to experience, as the prodigal son did, that no matter how wounded we may be, we are loved. And not only are we loved, but we too are called to heal and to liberate. This healing power in us will not come from our capacities and our riches, but in and through our poverty. We are called to discover that God can bring peace, compassion and love through our wounds.

Jean Vanier, From Brokenness to Community

Noelle's thoughts after the first day of school...

Grandma took her to pick out a first day of school outfit at Macy's. Of all the options this is what she just absolutely had to have. She was proud of how it matched and called these her "design pants." :)

Me: So, how was it, good?

Noelle: yeah.

Me: Did you talk to that new friend Kaitlyn at all?

Noelle: No (pause) I'm still getting to know her.

Me: What was a really good part of the day?

Noelle: (after a little thought) Making handprints.

Me: What was a not as good part?

Noelle: They were all really good parts!

Me: (a little later) So, did you talk to any friends at school?

Noelle: No, I didn't talk to anyone.

Me: I saw you talking to Roxie (you can see her in the last two pictures - haha).

Noelle: I talked to her a little.

Me: Were you feeling comfortable at school or was it all a little new.

Noelle: OH, it was ALL, REALLY NEW but I was comfortable.

Me: That's good. (or something like that. I made lots of little sounds and acknowledgments along the way I'm sure that I didn't include.

The next day she told Ryan she didn't like recess because she always falls. He then found out she fell on a bouncy ball (the kind with handles) and the grass was wet and she got mud on her. She said the other kids don't fall. She then told him that she didn't care, well, she used to care in Miss Booth's class (last year) but not anymore. Then after a long pause said with emphasis, "But I did care!"

But my favorite thing about preschool is how excited Noelle and Natalie are to play with each other when Noelle gets home.

My Hula Dancers!

I had meant to post these after Hawaii but forgot!

Um...

• I WILL NEVER HAVE AN ORGANIZED HOME!
• I AM INCONSISTENT AND DON'T FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THE GIRLS!
• I HAVE SOME SERIOUS CHARACTER FLAWS.
  
  How's that for gentle?
  
  I guess I needed a case in point!

EAT PRAY LOVE

I finished the book and saw the movie last night. I have to say that Elizabeth Gilbert's worldview is very different than my own but like so many of her readers I appreciate her intentionality and her open wrestlings.


It's nice to jump inside someone's head very different than your own. For me, it brings up new thoughts and questions and at the same time affirms some of my own understandings. And of course, like most times you get a chance to know someone on a deeper level, you find similarities and at times opportunities to see aspects of yourself more clearly.

Gilbert gives the reader a chance to step into her thought processes and glimpse the lack of grace and abundance of judgments she begins the journey with. An opportunity to stop and analyze, "What does my thought process look like?" "Am I gentle to myself?" because MAN, that sure looks painful, what she's doing!

Sometimes when I'm in the middle of a book, I begin to pick up on their writing style and find some similar narration coming into my own head about my life. Does that happen to you? I took more notice of my thoughts while reading this book and became more intentional in where I let my thoughts go. It really is amazing how quickly we can shoot ourselves down. My spiral downward really did used to resemble a falling plane. I catch myself much earlier these days (mostly). Like Gilbert seems to begin doing, I know the signs and try to respond.

I have so many thoughts on this book, perhaps I'll find time to share a few more. If anyone reads this and has a thought, share.

Character

I'm beginning to realize that my daughter has a temperment. Now, I know that does not sound surprising, but IT IS to me. It surprises me that some of the things I see now might always be. It surprises me how different she is from me in some ways. And yet, I know that as a 4 year old it is hard at times to get an accurate picture.

I'm beginning to think that maybe the way Noelle is, has something to do with her and not just with me. I guess it points to the fact that I put a lot of stock into the "nurture" over "nature" theory and am surprised to find that some of her behavior and attitude really do seem to come from hard-wiring. I can't help but wonder how the pregnancy and all of my "stuff" and Ryan's "stuff" and life's circumstances play a part in shaping her. But I am beginning to realize that there are some things that have been pretty consistent from day one.

I'm also reminding myself of something I learned in school. I learned that the type of temperment of your child isn't as important as the "goodness of fit" or the connection that is formed between the child and the parent. In more recent weeks I have been encouraged to really try and gauge the needs of my child and attempt to understand where she is coming from. So, I am attempting to really "see" my child and attempting to connect with her the best I can, look her in the eyes, comfort her, enjoy her and think about her.

At 4, I'm beginning to realize more and more that she is so separate of me and is a complete individual. I think it's Noelle that is supposed to be going through the process but here I am.

And on that note, I felt these pictures captured some of her character:

Loving kindness
Noelle has a big heart and has always been very sensitive. She is sensitive in many ways, one of them being that she can sense others emotions and is affected by them. She really knows how to love well and we see it come out at times. I love when she loves on her sister.

So there is one thing that she seems to have in common with me, her love of dance, posing and attention. Here she is on the soccer field, sauntered off from the disorganized class and taking a minute to pose by the goal.


Intensity
But unlike me, she has a little fire in her that can show up in her passion and intensity, like on the soccer field, in her art and in her interaction.

Determination
Noelle is extremely determined. I think about the line in the movie clueless that said, "it's just a jumping off point for negotiations" or something like that. In this picture, I wouldn't get down something she wanted and so she started piling (in frustration I would add). Natalie just decided to pull the tall barstool over, a reminder that keeping a level head about what you're trying to get at sure helps ;).

Sweet Lily Tutus

A friend had Natalie model a few of her tutus that she makes:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/49403746/pink-and-orange-tutu-with-hot-pink

These pictures are so precious! Thanks Cheri for letting us share in the fun!

Vacation is...

I used to always associate vacations with sleeping in and sleeping well.

Not anymore.

And let me tell you, nothing could take away the beauty, joy and calming sensation of waking up to this....

And although I love waking up to this...





I really didn't want to wake up to this...

Every morning, usually earlier.

Loving enough

"Yes, there is that voice, the voice that speaks from above and from within and that whispers softly or declares loudly: "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests." It certainly is not easy to hear that voice in a world filled with voices that shout: "You are no good, you are ugly, you are worthless; you are despicable, you are nobody - unless you can demonstrate the opposite." These negative voices are so loud and so persistent that it is easy to believe them. That's the great trap. It is the trap of self-rejection." Henri Nowen, Life of the Beloved





I'm reading The Bean Trees right now by Barbara Kingsolver. The main character spends much of the book loving a battered child into wellness. Attempting to care for her in a way that says you are worthwhile and that the past doesn't define you. And yet the world attempts to rob this child and her lover of the ability to fight and to continue thriving in love.

Have you ever witnessed someone changed by love?

There is evidence that love changes people. Changes their hearts, their bodies, their brain chemistry.

I know God's love has changed me. He loves me into living differently. I don't mean as much in my behaviors but in how I see myself and the world.

I hate that this world robs people of love and more that it robs them of the ability to receive love. It is a nasty, horrible thing. I cling to the hope that love can triumph, trumping the very walls that defend against it.

Love well, friends.

Love/Hate

There are some things in life that although you are thankful for it/them and thankful that they are present, you hate them. This is true about so many things in life. Today, it is the potty chair. Yes, incredibly profound. I both love and abhor this thing at the same time.

ENFP

I was reading some more about my personality type. Boy, did this have some great descriptions of me. Some didn't fit as well but overall I resonate with so much of this. What's so great about reading the positives of your personality type is that you feel so affirmed because the positives about you hit at your core values and what you think is most important in life. Makes you feel like a winner ;).

Also, a great way to grow as you read the weaknesses.

Here is one of the main descriptions from this site:


ENFPs take their relationships very seriously, but also approach them with a childlike enthusiasm and energy. They seek and demand authenticity and depth in their personal relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort into making things work out. They are warm, considerate, affirming, nurturing, and highly invested in the health of the relationship. They have excellent interpersonal skills, and are able to inspire and motivate others to be the best that they can be. Energetic and effervescent, the ENFP is sometimes smothering in their enthusiasm, but are generally highly valued for their genuine warmth and high ideals.

I thought this next little blurb was pretty telling:

ENFPs may internalize anger rather than express it; their respect for other individuals makes it difficult for them to hurt others. An ENFP’s feeling of success depends upon the availability of opportunities to grow their understanding of the world, upon feeling that they’re living true to their personal value system, and upon the condition of their closest relationships.

This sounded like an important thing for me to remember:

When in Doubt, Ask Questions! Don't assume that the lack of feedback is the same thing as negative feedback. If you need feedback and don't have any, ask for it.

Under a list of weaknesses, this first one made me laugh. This is sooo me and I know it drives Ryan crazy. I try so hard to work on it but have found it is something so hard for me to change.

Uninterested in dealing with "mundane" matters such as cleaning, paying bills, etc.
May become bored easily
Have difficulty scolding or punishing others

I definitely see how this could have been a big potential for me, if not for God's work in my life and my own desire and journey towards healthy relationships:

As perfectionists, they don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship.

So, are any of you strong judgers? I'm so curious.

ENFPs may also feel threatened by individuals with strong Judging preferences. With a tendency to take any criticism personally, the ENFP may find themselves irritated or emotional when the Judger expresses a negative opinion, believing somehow that the Judger is expressing disapproval or disappointment in the ENFP.

I've wondered why I came out as an extrovert when I know that I really need time alone to recharge. When I read this it made sense as I do experience a lot of characteristics common to an extrovert. I also sometimes lack follow through.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values.

So, this is much more for me than anyone reading this but I encourage you to check out your own profile. I'm sure there are some places to take the test online if you don't already know your personality type.

And friends, I would love to know your types!!